When the Other Man Seems Better Than You, Try Doing These Things.


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We all have this one person, usually, a lot of them, of whom we think they are special, unique and better than us.

Some of the many surprises I’ve received in my life is when I see people who I literarily worship in my mind as small gods, telling it to my face how they envy me for one thing or the other.

“What? Are you serious? You are kidding me, right? You’re a god! Finer than me. Better in English, writing, praying…” Those are always the unsaid words behind every mischievous smile that follows that flattering compliment. 

Recently, I was back to the church I attended while I was still an undergraduate. It was a youth programme and we were playing a “Meet, Mix and Mingle” game. It was a fun question and answer session. Boom! A question was asked. Someone was asked to tell the church about me, and at the end of his comment, it was thrown open for people to add to it.

In all, I was overwhelmed with a lot of good comments and at a point, they started comparing and opined that “I’m the better one”.

Reflecting on the day, I can confirm that the feeling is so good.
But here is what many might not know: I admire a lot of them and think that they are the better ones. I only have my ways of dealing with it. If I had dealt wrongly with the feeling, perhaps, I wouldn’t have had a good reputation, it will be of a jealous, proud personality.

I learnt a lesson from Jack Ma, owner of Alibaba Group. While his business was still trying to dominate the Chinese E-commerce space, eBay, a successful US brand, became a major competitor for them. Of course, eBay was fit enough to swallow Jack Ma’s business, but they failed.

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Jack Ma, Alibaba Group
                                      
Why? Because Alibaba knew how to deal with a better rival, an attribute eBay managers lacked. No wonder, Jack Ma said, “Whatever is stronger than you, you have to learn not to hate it”.
Here are the few things, I think will help you:
  
1) Identify them: To me, it is not enough to know who are the people better than you. Another most important thing is to know how and where they are better than you. 

2) Confirm their Identity: If you’ve been able to know ‘who is who’ and you can say “here is where they seem better”, you must also know that there are many things we think exist but are just mere facade. 
So, confirm if the person and the qualities are real. How? Listen to them. Confirm the validity of what they say. Also, pay attention to how consistent they are with their messages and actions. 

3) Learn from them: Leaders face this problem of learning from people who are better than them. When you can identify and attest that someone is better than you, it is not easy, but try not to be intimidated. 

If you are a junior to the person, ask him/her a lot of questions and volunteer to work with him/her. 

If you are a senior colleague, try very hard, not to allow the fangs of insecurity clung on your mind. Always present your best ideas and if the idea of the person you feel is better than you seems more solid, work with it.

 If you work with the idea and it wins, don’t try to steal the show for yourself, acknowledge them (the ideators). It is not for you to decide if they will be proud. Let them make their choice. If they are positive to pride test and start threatening you, sit back and continue working on yourself. Verily, verily I say unto you, behold, you shall witness the crash of a great man.

4) Accept your flaws: While learning, you should be able to identify your flaws, if they are things you can work on, strive to be a better you. If those things that you have flaws in, contradict your personality and everything you want to become, you might just move on from it and focus on your strength.

5) Focus on your strength: Don’t be jealous of Usain bolt if you are table tennis player. Be the best at where your strength lies. Akpororo, Basketmouth were all at the peak of their career in the comedy industry but Kennyblaq was able to find his own space, by focusing on his music strength to help his comedy career. 

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Kennyblaq
                                 

Klint d’ drunk doesn’t know how to sing, but he knows how to act like a drunk. Today, he also thrives in the comedy industry. So when someone is under you and seems better than you in some areas, focus on your leadership strength. When they are above you, focus on your unique selling point. To become somebody, you don’t have to be like everybody.
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Usain Bolt
                                 
6) Leverage on each other’s abilities: When his area of strength differs from your own. You can become colleagues or friends and let him use his/her expertise to make your own project successful. And be ready to always be of help to him too.


I think if you do these things. You will find it impossible not to shine everywhere you go. 

I am not invisible too, It happens a lot of time to me too, but I am always quick to remember these things. When we know how to deal with people better than us, instead of seeing them as bitter rivals, we will lead an exceptional and respectable life.

Do you have some things on your mind that you want to talk about?
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I’m the seed of Abraham shattering mediocrity, inspiring exceptionality.


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4 thoughts on “When the Other Man Seems Better Than You, Try Doing These Things.

  1. Mercy Oyawole Reply

    So inspiring boss, more grace. I hope more people get to see this. I've faced some of these things before but didn't handle them quite too well, but with this writeup I've been able to correct myself. More grace, sir.

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